is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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