She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
