You really coming over, don't trick.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
