You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
