I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
