we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
