So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
