even my farts smell like vagina
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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