I need to stop coming to work sober
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
