I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
