were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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