I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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