my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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