can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize