think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
