Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
