kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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