She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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