just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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