Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
