good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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