It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize