I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
