i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
