i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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