I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
