Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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