Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
