I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
