you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
