I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
