If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
