Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
