I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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