my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
