Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is Oprah even human
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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