OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
