I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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