Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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