just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
