you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
