I can tuck mytits in my pants
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
