Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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