Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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