I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
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I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
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I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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