Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
