This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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