Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
