its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
