Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
