I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
