But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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