If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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