she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
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That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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