She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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